Video Game Addiction Tips to Tame the Kid Whos Hooked

Tips to Tame the Kid Who's Hooked

Every afternoon at 3:00, Chad rushes home from fifth grade and goes straight to his room. There he sits, shoulder muscles tensed, jaw clenched, eyes staring straight ahead at a monitor screen. His fingers are poised over a set of buttons. When he is called to dinner, he doesn't answer. His homework sits untouched.

Chad is a video game addict.

Chad's behavior is not unusual. Some youngsters, particularly preteen boys, would rather spend their time playing video games than doing almost anything else. Their parents worry about the violence in the games, the lack of social contact in their children's lives and the fact that family activities are becoming only a memory.

But where do experts draw the line between enthusiastic involvement and true dependency?

''Notice if your child is going into a trancelike state while playing,'' suggests Carole Lieberman, M.D., a Beverly Hills psychiatrist, media consultant and assistant clinical professor of psychiatry at the University of California, Los Angeles. ''That signals an addiction.''

Steven Silvern, Ph.D., professor of early childhood education at Auburn University in Auburn, Alabama, uses another benchmark. ''If you've tried limiting your child's video game playing, and he stubbornly resists, causing a power struggle, it's an addiction,'' says Dr. Silvern. ''As in adult addictions, the addicted child finds all kinds of ways to circumvent the rules and do what he's not supposed to be doing.''

Video game addicts need help. If you suspect you have one in your house, try the following suggestions from the experts to get your child's habit under control.

Develop an incentive system. Work out a system in which children must earn video game play privileges, suggests Donald Jackson, Jr., Psy.D., director of The Psychological Services Center of Widener University in Chester, Pennsylvania. Don't let the child believe she's automatically entitled to these privileges.

''Use video games as a reward for doing chores, completing homework or accomplishing something special around the house,'' says Dr. Jackson. ''If the child can prove she's responsible in such ways, then she can have the freedom to deal with the special appeal of video games.''

Set limits on playing time. You can buy a T V metering device, called T V Allowance, to help control playing time, says Dr. Jackson. You can program the device to permit a certain number of playing hours per week--and no more. It's available from the T V Allowance Company, 5605 S.W. 74th Street, Number 21, South Miami, Florida 33143.

Schedule ''reality breaks.'' ''After one hour of video game play, the child should be required to take a 'reality break' to discuss briefly with a family member or friend what else is going on in the house,'' suggests Dr. Jackson. ''It's a way of focusing attention away from the fantasy world of the games for a few minutes.''

Rest tired eyes and muscles. Between reality breaks, it's a good idea to have your child take a brief eye-focusing break every 20 minutes to prevent eyestrain, says Dr. Jackson. Have her look up from the game and focus on something in the distance for several seconds.

While you're at it, encourage her to get up and move around for a minute or two to relieve muscle tension. These posture breaks will also help remind your child there's a world beyond the video monitor, says Dr. Jackson.

Change the cues. Changing the context in which your child is used to playing video games may make it easier to enforce limits on the amount of play, says Dr. Silvern. ''For instance, you could shift the time your child plays. Instead of allowing him to always sit down the minute he comes home from school, don't permit him to play until after dinner. Or only allow him to play on weekends.''

Make it a social occasion. ''Invite friends over for your child to play video games with, so he isn't always playing by himself,'' says Dr. Silvern. '' Whenever possible, choose games that allow two kids to play. Even with solo games, two kids can play in parallel with each other, by taking turns and commenting on each other's performance.''

Don't beat 'em, join 'em. ''Play the games yourself so you understand what's at stake in each game and what your child is talking about,'' suggests Marsha Kinder, Ph.D., professor of critical studies at the University of Southern California School of Cinema--Television in Los Angeles and author of Playing with Power in Movies, Television and Video Games. Ask him what he likes, so you can help him develop better taste in choosing more positive, less violent games.

''By playing video games with your children, it becomes a shared experience,'' adds Dr. Silvern. ''As you watch him play, raise some questions. When he's completed a level of play, have him pause the game and ask him something, such as, 'I noticed that you picked up that sword. Why did you do that?' This gives the child an opportunity to teach you more about the game.''

Push for computer games instead. ''Encourage your child to switch over to playing educational-type games on computers,'' suggests Dr. Lieberman. ''Even if hand-eye coordination is what he values most in video games, there are computer games that provide this and are more worthwhile than most of the video games.'' She suggests that parents check out ''Concentration,'' ''Jeopardy,'' ''Sesame Street,'' ''ABC and 123'' and other challenging computer games.

Change the power source. Kids get a sense of power from playing and mastering video games, but there are many more positive ways to help give your child a sense of powerfulness. ''Look for interactive activities that give your child power through participation and learning, rather than through zapping little men or cars on a video screen,'' says Dr. Lieberman. If your child excels athletically, she'll get that kind of empowerment through participation in her favorite sport. For a child who gets a lot of gratification from games, mastering a challenging board game like chess can be very satisfying, according to Dr. Lieberman.

Look for the school connection. Is your child turning to video game escapism because of slumping grades at school? ''In the long run,'' says Dr. Lieberman, ''getting him a tutor may be less expensive than buying lots of games.'' And the results will do more for his self-esteem. ''The important thing is to attack the problem at its source instead of condoning substitute ways of dealing with the frustration,'' she says.

Go for the real thing. ''Instead of purchasing a video game based on a sport like baseball or hockey, take him to a real game,'' suggests Dr. Lieberman. That not only gets him away from the screen, it also gives you and your child the camaraderie of spending time together, she says.