Impotence

Impotence

Yeah, yeah, it happens to all men. Sure, sure, it's as much a part of being male as an Adam's apple or refusing to ask for directions. But when the very symbol of maleness lets you down, don't be surprised if you feel some embarrassment and humiliation. Many men do. And many fear that their rock 'em, sock 'em sex lives have been reduced to mere memories-all because they are unable to achieve or maintain erections.

But before you start playing taps for your bedroom abilities, understand that being impotent doesn't mean you have to stay that way. Whether you feel let down by a onetime episode or think you have a long-term problem, here's how to turn the tables and achieve healthy erections once again.

Try it standing up. If your trouble is maintaining an erection, then the problem is likely due to insufficient blood flow-either getting the blood into the penis or keeping it there. It's a normal part of the aging process and a large reason why one in four men over age 65 is impotent at least occasionally.

"Certain sexual positions can help men who suffer from decreased blood flow," says J. Francois Eid, M.D., director of the Erectile Dysfunction Unit at The New York Hospital-Cornell Medical Center in New York City. "Try having sex standing up, because standing facilitates blood flow." If standing isn't for you, try intercourse lying on your side, or enter your partner from behind, he advises.

Try hashing it out. "Impotence often occurs when men hold in negative feelings--anger, stress, frustration, irritation or hurt," says Alvin Baraff, Ph.D., director of MenCenter in Washington, D.C., and author of Men Talk: How Men Really Feel about Women, Sex, Relationships and Themselves. He encourages men to tell more, especially to their partners.

"The problem is that most men don't feel comfortable expressing their feelings or even realize that feelings have anything to do with their impotence, says Dr. Baraff. "Holding in negative feelings toward their partner is often the culprit in impotence. A good starting point is to talk about the impotence itself--how they feel about it, why they think it has occurred."

Eat low-fat. Just as a high-fat, high-cholesterol diet can play havoc with your heart, it can do similar damage to your penis. "Plaque from a bad diet and sedentary lifestyle can line the walls of the arteries in and to your penis, reducing blood flow and causing impotence," says Mark H. Cline, Ph.D., a psychologist and researcher at the Male Health Center in Dallas.

The good news is that adopting a healthy lifestyle may reverse this situation, adds Sheldon Burman, M.D., founder and director of the Male Sexual Dysfunction Institute in Chicago, the country's largest treatment center for male sexual problems. "Lose weight if you need to, exercise regularly, control your cholesterol and triglyceride levels, and the amount of blood flow in your penis's arteries can increase for better erections."

Cut back on caffeine. Although a cup or two a day is fine, serious coffee drinking may lead to serious problems. "Caffeine releases adrenaline in your body, and one of the things that adrenaline does is shut off arterial flow to the penis," says Dr. Cline. The problem is that the effects of caffeine can last 12 hours or longer after you drink it. So if you are having trouble with erections and drink a lot of coffee, maybe you ought to cut back or switch to decaffeinated, suggests Dr. Cline. Caffeinated tea and cola and chocolate are other sources of caffeine to avoid.

Stay smoke-free. If you smoke, stop. "Quitting is one of the most important things you can do to avoid the early onset of impotence or help reverse it," says Dr. Burman. Smoking is harmful because it hampers circulation and blood supply and contributes to hardening of the arteries, and if less blood reaches the penis, it's more difficult to get an erection.

Avoid the avid smokers. For those who don't smoke, it's smart to stay away from those who do. "Secondhand smoke--what you breathe from other people's cigarettes--can be even worse," says Dr. Cline. That's because sidestream smoke from the tip of your neighbor's cigarette doesn't pass through a filter before it reaches your lungs.

Don't exercise right before sex. Along with diet, regular exercise is part of a healthy lifestyle that can prevent or remedy impotence--as long as you don't work out right before sex. "Whenever you exercise, the body directs blood to the group of muscles that is being used--and away from your penis," says Dr. Burman. This diversion of blood may stop you from getting or maintaining an erection.

Skip the happy hour. You don't need a stiff drink. Serious alcohol consumption can also cause impotence. That's because booze is a nervous system depressant, inhibiting your reflexes and arousal. You may be drinking to "relax," but getting too relaxed can adversely affect sexual performance.