His Her Guide to Weight Loss
Launching a weight-loss program with your spouse sounds so promising at the outset. But a few weeks later, you find yourself wondering why it isn't working for either of you. It could be because you're both going against your gender's built-in grain.
Research is beginning to show that what switches off her appetite might be a turn-on for his. Or what sends her straight to the gym might leave him sitting on the couch. When it comes to food and fitness, each gender has its own preferences and behaviors. And the point is, if you wouldn't wear your spouse's Levi's, why try to fit into his or her weight-loss plan?
Once you know where your own gender's best fat-fighting potential is, you can use it to tailor a weight-loss program that works for you. So here's a rundown of some of the most important (and surprising) his/her differences and how you can turn them to your advantage.
He Likes It Flaming
She Likes It Reliable
When it comes to food, men like it hot. In one study, spicy foods--hot peppers in particular--rated high on the list of tastes men prefer. Researchers think this may be more about sensation-seeking than it is about biology.
For women, it's healthy foods that score high. Among the favorites: yogurt, vegetables and fruits. Experts can't say for sure whether women love these tastes or just tend to love what's good for them. Either way, fostering this food preference puts you a step ahead when it comes to losing weight.
His strategy: Say sí to salsa. This spicy convergence of tomatoes, hot peppers, cilantro, garlic, onion and other savory tastes adds zest to a meal without adding fat. Use it everywhere, especially where you used to load up on cheese, sour cream or other high-fat condiments, advises Morton H. Shaevitz, Ph.D., and author of Lean and Mean: The No Hassle, Life-Extending Weight Loss Program for Men.
Get creative about using salsa as an ingredient or topping. Put it on a baked potato or in omelets. Use it as a marinade for chicken or as a salad dressing. Just open a jar and pour it on--most packaged salsas contain little or no fat (although you'll want to check the label to be sure).
If salsa isn't your style, there are other hot and flavorful options, says Dr. Shaevitz. "Mushrooms, onions, green peppers, vinegar and mustards are good ways to give food excitement without calories."
Her strategy: Go wild with a good thing. While he's firing up his potato with hot peppers, rely on your more subtle favorites to spruce up yours. Try topping potatoes with nonfat or low-fat yogurt and vegetables. And take those veggies out of the ho-hum by cooking them in some chicken broth or by sautéing them with a little garlic and a bit of onion.
Capitalize on your taste for fruit by bringing it into the main course. Registered dietitian and American Dietetic Association spokesperson Evelyn Tribole, author of Eating on the Run, recommends a family favorite: fruit pizza. She creates hers on a homemade, low-fat, whole-wheat pastry crust, but any low-fat crust will do, she says. It's only three steps to the finish from there: Mix fat-free cream cheese with nonfat or low-fat ricotta, and spread that over the baked crust. Add kiwi or other fruits--peaches, berries or other seasonal favorites--as if they were pepperoni. Zap some marmalade in the microwave and brush it on top with a pastry brush and eat.
His Mirror Says Arnold Schwarzenegger
Hers Says Fat Lady at the Circus
He looks into the mirror and sees burly and strong. She looks in and sees her hips stretched out to the size of Nebraska.
What it's about is body image, and surveys show that high numbers of Americans are turning their reflections into fun-house mirror distortions. The problem is, basing a weight-loss program on what you think you should look like or weigh undoes the efforts of both genders.
Many overweight men think they look fine. In fact, 40 percent of overweight men "felt at about the right weight," according to one Prevention Index, a survey of the nation's health. Others may weigh in on target according to the height and weight charts, but they have potbellies and no buns. Either way, what looks healthy from the outside might not be so on the inside--their heft may be heightening their risk for heart disease.
On the female side of the chart, the desire to be superslim may lead her to aim for a body weight far below what she's genetically programmed to be. Look at the facts: According to Prevention's Healthy Women Survey, 73 percent of the women who responded felt they needed to lose pounds to achieve a healthy body weight. Yet only 44 percent of the surveyed women were actually overweight.
Both genders can avoid spinning the wheels of their diet plan by turning away from an ideal weight and setting their sights on a healthy one.
His/Her strategy: Change your thinking. Don't let your weight determine your behavior. Let healthy habits determine your weight. That is, take your focus off what you believe your body should weigh and learn what's healthy for it to weigh.
"We don't think that everybody should be the same height. There's no biological reason that everybody should line up in a row and be the same weight. It's just not the way biology works," says diet expert C. Wayne Cal-laway, M.D., associate clinical professor of medicine at George Washington University Medical Center in Washington, D.C., and a member of the Dietary Guidelines Advisory Committee to the USDA and the Department of Health and Human Services. Some men can be perfectly healthy at 210 pounds, while others will be metabolically obese at 180 because their cholesterol levels will be way out of balance, with triglycerides climbing and HDL levels plummeting (HDL is the good kind of cholesterol). It all depends on what your body's made to handle.
To determine what's healthy for you, set a new standard by looking inside. First, check your health statistics. According to the National Institutes of Health's National High Blood Pressure Education Program, you should make sure your cholesterol is under 200, your blood pressure is under 140/90 and your blood sugar levels are normal.
Next, look at fitness or performance. Can you do what you need to do and feel good? You don't have to be able to do everything your 22-year-old aerobics teacher does. But you should be able to walk briskly without being short of breath and be able to talk at the same time.
Finally, ask your doctor if your current weight will put you at risk for obesity-related diseases in the future.
If your inner health isn't where it should be, work with your doctor, registered dietitian or exercise physiologist to establish smart eating and exercise behaviors that will get you healthy and keep you there. When you do that, you might find yourself at a lower (or higher!) weight than you thought was ideal. If you feel good, you move well and your health is on target, why let the number on the scale determine what you do or how you feel about yourself?
His Gut Wants to Gain It
Her Hips Want to Hold It
Why is it that he can get a potbelly and lose it in no time, while her fat seems to settle on her hips and thighs for the duration, even though she's losing weight?
In a word, estrogen. Women have a greater number of fat cells on the hips and thighs than do men, and it's part of estrogen's job to take fat there and keep it there. In fact, the average female body wants 120,000 calories stored up as fat so it can deliver the next generation, even in a famine.
Guys, on the other hand, get fat in the belly first because, some experts believe, the fat cells there are more metabolically active. Bellies gain weight quickly, but give it up quickly, too. As short-term energy stores, they were especially handy in hunter/gatherer days when quick access to body fuel got you safely out of the reach of what might have been hunting you.
If you're thinking that belly fat is the kind to have, think again. Big bellies can swell your risks for numerous diseases. "So far, nearly everything that's been studied that's associated with obesity--heart disease, stroke, diabetes and high blood pressure--has to do more with belly fat than hip and thigh fat," says Dr. Callaway.
Doctors determine risk with what they call the waist-to-hip ratio (WHR). The higher the ratio, the greater the risk. That puts men with "spare tires" at higher risk than so-called pear-shaped women. Women who are naturally "apple-shaped," or women past the age of menopause whose fat has redistributed farther north, fall in between.
Both genders can burn this excess fat with aerobic exercise. While you can't spot reduce, you can choose exercises that tone your trouble spots, making them appear trimmer once the weight is gone.
His strategy: Smoothing your stomach is a threefold process. First, cut down on what's building it up. Research shows that the gut grabs fat when you drink alcohol, smoke or are under stress.
Second, reduce what's already there with aerobic exercise. You'll need at least 20 to 30 minutes of continuous aerobic exercise three times per week to get things moving. Remember that you not only have to exercise enough to release fat into the bloodstream but also have to keep going long enough to burn it.
Third, put the crunch on it. Abdominal crunches, or sit-ups, won't do much to burn off fat. But they will tone the area so it looks tighter and firmer when the fat is gone.
Her strategy: Aerobic exercise is your best bet for fighting fat, too. Make your workout time do double duty by choosing fat-burning exercises that also tone your trouble spots. Walking, jogging, stair climbers and cross-country ski machines are good ways to get the large muscles in the legs and hips in shape so they'll look tighter and slimmer when the fat is gone. To give those areas even more tone, ask the gym fitness instructor to show you how to use the leg machine that works both the inside and outside muscles in your legs.
Finally, stay tuned to subtle changes. While his gut seems to be just dropping off, keep in mind that you lose weight more uniformly, so your body gets smaller without changing shape dramatically.
He Loses 20 Pounds
She Loses 15
Over the same amount of time and with the same amount of physical activity, he can actually lose more pounds than she can, says George Blackburn, M.D., chief of the Nutrition/Metabolism Laboratory at New England Deaconess Hospital in Boston. As he puts it, "The man would be a V8 engine and the woman a V6."
Men burn calories faster for two reasons: First, they're usually heavier to begin with and are burning more calories all the time. (It takes more energy to carry 200 pounds one step than it does to carry 150 pounds the same distance.) Second, guys have a greater proportion of fat-burning muscle, or fat-free mass, than women do. Healthy young men have about 12 to 19 percent body fat; older men have about 15 to 22 percent. Women, on the other hand, have between 19 and 26 percent when they're younger, which rises to 22 to 30 percent in older women.
His strategy: Don't get smug. When you compare percentages, not pounds, you'll see that you're making the same relative weight reduction as she is. If you weigh 200 pounds and lose 20, you're losing 10 percent of your body weight. If she's 150 and loses 15, she's done the same thing. Don't let too much ride on the initial quick drop, says Dr. Callaway. Men tend to feel really great when the numbers are dropping, but when things level off, in comes boredom. Once the challenge is gone, you'll return to your old way of eating and put the pounds right back on. Here again, instead of focusing on the numbers, focus on how you feel.
Her strategy: Nowhere is patience more a virtue than in weight loss. Not only do you burn calories more slowly because you're smaller, you may also have slowed down because you've tried to lose weight before--28 percent of you started doing it seriously at age 17 or younger.
"There's some evidence that the more you diet, the better you get at starvation," says Dr. Callaway. When frequent dieters cut their intake, their bodies prepare for starvation. Cells may clutch hard to the energy already in them and gobble up more when they get it. That makes it tougher to lose weight and easier to gain it back. You can break the cycle, however, with realistic weight-loss expectations of a half pound to one pound per week.
To avoid feeling discouraged, don't compare the numbers on your scale with his. If you have to compare, use percent reductions.
He Craves Meat
She Craves Sweets
Wouldn't it be great if when a craving hit, it was for apples or carrots? No such luck. Two recent studies, one on obese men and women, another on normal-weight people, suggest that men favor or crave meats and cheeses, and women prefer sweets and desserts--all fats, fats, fats.
Researchers can't yet pinpoint whether cravings are about texture, taste or emotions, says cravings expert Marcia Pelchat, Ph.D., research scientist at Monell Chemical Senses Center, in Philadelphia. Past studies don't definitely show whether substituting low-fat or nonfat versions for your favorite high-fat foods will keep your weight down, but it's certainly worth a try. By knowing where your weaknesses are, you can plan substitutions that may put your fat intake at the right level. Letting it settle at about 25 percent of your total calorie intake will help you avoid eating fats your body can't use (and fats it sticks into storage). It can also put a hold on heart disease by reducing high serum cholesterol.
His strategy: First, switch to ground turkey or chicken breast instead of beef, and you'll find big fat savings. In a three-ounce serving, ground turkey has about 8 grams of fat. Ground beef has about 13.
Then, slice the portion size. "Most recipes tell you to use one pound of meat. There's nothing magic about one pound. You can usually cut that down without missing it," says nutritionist Tribole. In any case, trim off the fat--one study shows that men are less likely than women to trim the visible fat from their meat, but it only takes a second to do.
Her strategy: Studies show that when premenstrual syndrome hits, so does a craving for chocolate. Your best defense is to decide ahead of time what to do about it, advises Thomas A. Wadden, Ph.D., director of the weight and eating disorders program at the University of Pennsylvania in Philadelphia.
You can decide to allow yourself a certain amount on the two or three days you're particularly craving it. Or if portions are difficult, remove chocolate from your house and just go out for a treat when you want it, he says.
By the way, the second biggest fat trap in the female diet is salad dressing. Although women haven't been shown to crave it, they definitely eat it. Studies show that women with the highest fat intakes ate regular salad dressing in larger portions and more frequently than did women with lowest fat intakes.
Try nonfat bottled dressings or make your own low-fat ones. Puree favorite ingredients such as mustard, garlic, Worcestershire sauce and minced, sun-dried tomatoes into nonfat cottage cheese or plain, nonfat yogurt. Tracy Ritter, chef-owner of Stamina Cuisine, in San Diego, recommends a vegetable-based dressing made of steamed carrots. Simply puree them with defatted chicken stock and rice-wine vinegar. Some fresh ginger, lemon juice and a sprinkle of hot-pepper sauce finishes it off with zest.
He Gains Weight with Friends
She Gains It Alone
For both sexes, who's at the table may be just as important as what's on it. Dr. Shaevitz has observed that men do most of their overeating in social situations; women do it in private. Whether they're around other men or just Mom, men get encouraged to eat a lot--a "lumberjack appetite" can be a desirable male trait.
Women, in contrast, may eat less in public to appear more feminine, says Dr. Shaevitz. That works to their favor when they're out, but what they do at home is another story.
"Women are so busy taking care of other people that the one thing they do to 'care for themselves' is eat something that tastes good," says Dr. Wadden. In fact, women are nearly twice as likely as men to eat a special dessert to indulge themselves. When women are around food all day or are too busy to sit down and eat, it's easy to pick up too many calories.
"The psychology there is that if you're not sitting down, it doesn't count," says Dr. Wadden. "Unfortunately, it does."
His strategy: Keep talking. "View the evening as a social event with food present, rather than an eating event with people present," says Dr. Shaevitz. Make your focus the people, not the food, and you'll find that you can keep both your weight-loss plan and your social life intact. Chances are, people will remember how charming you were, not how much you ate.
If, however, you're in a situation where there's extreme pressure to eat a lot, fill your plate high. Just substitute less-calorie-dense foods for the standard fare. Beef up a meal, so to speak, with two baked potatoes, lots of vegetables or extra bread.
If lunches out lead healthy eating astray, find a standard meal that's 500 to 700 calories. Men have to avoid having a dinner meal at lunch and then again in the evening, says Dr. Wadden. Good lunch options include a good-size salad with turkey or chicken in it, or a turkey sandwich that's easy on the mayo.
Her strategy: Give priority to yourself. Then make yourself dinner.
When your schedule is tight, don't try to find time for yourself. Make it. Getting out of the kitchen will pick you up better than a hot fudge sundae will. "If you can get 15 minutes to do something for yourself, whether that's going for a walk in the evening, reading a book for a few minutes or watching a show on television, that's more helpful than just eating," says Dr. Wadden. Plus, you won't feel bad about it later.
When you do need to be around food--if you're preparing it for the family--remember that a bite here and there can soon hit heavy below the belt. Stock the kitchen in your favor by keeping good foods in clear containers and fat-filled snacks in opaque, hard-to-reach ones.
Decrease your temptation to snack when the kids do by feeding them ready-made snacks or ones in single-serving packages. Contribute what's left to Mother Nature. You can't feel guilty about tossing leftovers when they help out the compost heap.
He Exercises to Get Bigger
She Exercises to Get Smaller
Both of you know that exercise is essential in any weight-loss program. To get it, it's natural for him to head to the weight room and her to take up aerobics, says Dr. Shaevitz. That's a good start, but you're both missing weight-loss opportunities unless you reach to the other's side of the gym.
His strategy: Add aerobics. This not only melts fat but also helps stave off cardiovascular disease in the process. According to the American Heart Association, being sedentary has as negative an effect on your heart's health as high blood cholesterol, high blood pressure or smoking.
Aerobics doesn't mean wearing a cute little outfit and going to class three times a week. It means getting out and moving. In a study of more than 18,000 people trying to lose weight, walking was the number-one favorite way to get physical activity. Walkers over the age of 40 also weighed less than the people trying to lose weight who reported no activity. For exercise, start with one-half mile and try to increase the distance by a half mile each week.
Make walking a way of life, says Loretta DiPietro, Ph.D., epidemiologist and assistant fellow at the John B. Pierce Laboratory at Yale University School of Medicine. "If you're going to drive, park your car a little farther away and walk to your destination. If you take mass transportation, get off a little sooner and walk two or three stops. Take the stairs rather than the elevator. If you have to start by taking them down, then take them down and the elevator up. People ask, 'What difference is that going to make?' But think about the cumulative effect. If I deposit $5 a week in my checking account, over time, it adds up."
Her strategy: Borrow his barbells. When those 18,000 dieters were questioned about their exercise programs, weight training wasn't mentioned as a strategy for weight loss. If weights aren't part of your workout, you're missing an important way to boost your fat-burning ability. The more muscle you have, potentially the more fat you burn--even when you're not at the gym.
Three days a week is all it takes to bump up your metabolic rate, your strength and your percentage of muscle (called lean-body mass). An added bonus is that weight-bearing exercise may help ward off osteoporosis, too.
"A woman can make phenomenal gains in strength with very little change in the overall size of her muscle," explains Sydney Lou Bonnick, M.D., research professor at the Center for Research on Women's Health at Texas Women's University in Denton, Texas. Dr. Bonnick has designed exercise programs especially for women at the clinic. "So if she's worrying about her appearance as a result of strength training, she should know that what you tend to see is a decrease in the size of her hips and thighs. The amount of fat goes down and cancels out the increase in the size of the muscle. So she really doesn't get bigger, but she does look better."
Women who have moved into the weight-training arena tend to stick with it, says Dr. Bonnick. "When they realize how good they feel and how much better they look, you can't get them out of the gym."
He Likes a Solo Win
She Prefers Teamwork
"Men approach weight loss almost like a competitive sport," says Dr. Wadden. "When you say that group A of dieters is going to compete against group B, you'll always find that the men in group A take on group B as fiercely as they can."
Women, on the other hand, help pull each other toward the finish line. One woman can be another's personal cheerleader, support system and healthy-recipe file all in one. "Women enjoy discussing their feelings about food, about difficulties they're having controlling their eating, and they're more likely to share helpful comments," he says.
His strategy: Make a bet. Capitalize on your competitive nature by setting a weight-loss goal with a friend. Then check in with each other every week.
Your best bet is one that encourages healthy eating habits. See who can stick to a challenge of the week, such as cutting down on fat intake or pruning the number of sugared sodas consumed in a day. That way, you're banking on healthy new habits, and you won't fall prey to "lose-it-fast" behaviors that can get you to your goal but can't keep you there.
"In order to lose a half pound a week, it's best if you can do it by changing your behaviors over time," adds Dr. Callaway. There's some evidence that if you lose weight slowly, your metabolic rate doesn't decline in order to conserve energy. As a result, you don't set up the biological signals for bingeing that occur when you starve and refeed.
Her strategy: Find a buddy. Set aside time to trade strategies, recipes and food-preparation tips. Better yet, share what works while you're out for a walk. Capitalize on your cooperative nature by cooking together. Or use teamwork to find the lowest-fat food selections at the grocery store. Or trade shopping lists if impulse buys are your downfall.
