Taming Your Stress While You Shed Pounds

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Are you overworked, overwhelmed . . . and, as a result, overweight?

Join the crowd. There's a raging epidemic these days of too much to do and never enough time to do it. To cope, some people unleash their energies in all directions at once, always starting but never finishing anything. Others procrastinate, so today is always spilling over into tomorrow, and they're always late. Many, already burdened past endurance, choose to make their lives impossible by taking on even more.

Something has to give, and usually does--quality time with your family gets scarce, your health suffers and weight control is out of control.

While most of us can't stop working or dealing with family responsibilities, we can work smarter, learn to set saner priorities and adopt strategies to minimize stress. And while we can't expect to be at the perfect weight all the time, we can avoid the self-defeating cycle of weight gain that all too often accompanies stress. Here are some realistic ways to do it.

Take a walk! Regular walking is one strategy that can attack all your symptoms at once: It can help you lose weight, give you the perfect opportunity to sort out goals and priorities and reduce stress in a big way. (See "Strolling Off Your Stress," on page 80.)

Just say no. "Stressed-out people often can't assert themselves," says Joan Lerner, Ph.D., a counseling psychologist in private practice in Philadelphia and a psychologist at the University of Pennsylvania Counseling Service. "So they swallow things. Instead of saying, 'I don't want to do this,' or 'I need some help,' they do it all themselves. Then they have even more to do."

Asking for help seems obvious, but for many of us, it's not. Many overwhelmed people keep their resentment and their enormous load of responsibilities all to themselves, explains Sally Ann Greer, Ph.D., a Virginia psychologist who specializes in stress management and weight reduction. Asking for help and learning how to say no are skills that the overworked must practice.

Strolling Off Your Stress By now you've surely heard that one brisk 20- to 30-minute walk can have the same calming effect as a mild tranquilizer. And you probably know that, over time, a regular exercise program can enhance self-esteem and reduce depression. But now there's research suggesting that a comfortable stroll can leave you feeling less anxious and more positive. By adding simple mental techniques, strollers get the same positive mental benefits that brisk walkers enjoy. How, you may be asking, can an overworked, overwhelmed person find the time for regular walks in the first place? Simple: Regular exercise such as walking helps you create time by increasing your stamina and energy, which can enable you to get more done in less time. Investing 20 to 30 minutes a day in walking, then, may actually save you more time than that. So what's the lowdown on this special destressing stroll? Recently, researchers explored how cognitive or "mindful" exercises might enhance the effect of exercise on the body and mind. The study was conducted by Ruth Stricker, director of the Marsh: A Center for Balance, in Minnetonka, Minnesota, and James M. Rippe, M.D., director of the Exercise, Physiology and Nutrition Laboratory at the University of Massachusetts Medical School in Worcester. This research, called the Ruth Stricker Mind/Body Study, studied 135 people divided into five groups of walkers for 16 weeks. Group one walked at a brisk pace, and group two at a low-intensity pace. Group three walked at a low-intensity pace but added an extra element: They practiced a mental technique to bring about the "relaxation response" developed by Herbert Benson, M.D., president of New England Deaconess Hospital's Mind/Body Medical Institute, in an attempt to see how the mind and body work together. (The relaxation response is a physiological response characterized by decreased heart rate and blood pressure, and feelings of tranquillity.) Group three was asked to pay attention to their footsteps, counting one, two, one, two. They were also instructed to visualize the numbers in their minds. If they found their thoughts drifting, they were to say "Oh, well," and come back to counting their footsteps. Group four practiced "mindful exercise," a Westernized application of t'ai chi ch'uan developed by Stricker, and group five served as controls--they were asked not to change anything about their lives. The results were "dramatic," according to Dr. Rippe. Group three showed decreases in anxiety and had fewer negative and more positive feelings about themselves--equal to the stress-reducing effect that the brisk walkers gained. These effects were evident after just one exercise session and were maintained over the duration of the study. Group two--the low-intensity walkers who did not use the cognitive approach--showed no improvements until the 14th week, and then the improvements were not as extensive. And group four experienced similar results to group three. "For people who have difficulty with brisk walking or other moderately intense exercise, this is an encouraging study," says Dr. Rippe. "They can be encouraged to exercise knowing that with a simple mental technique they can get the same psychological benefits as a person who can exercise at a higher intensity."

What's more, you can learn to say no tactfully, insists Merrill Douglass, D.B.A., president of the Time Management Center in Marietta, Georgia, and co-author with his wife, Donna, of Manage Your Time, Manage Your Work, Manage Yourself. Often, saying no while on the job is a matter of giving your supervisor choices, Douglass says. "Say, 'I'd really like to take this on, but I can't do that without giving up something else. Which of these things would you like me to do?' " Douglass advises. Most bosses, he adds, can take the hint.

Also, he suggests, examine the reasons behind your inability to say no. Some people don't want to turn down a request from a spouse, a child or a co-worker because it makes them feel guilty. "It might create a conflict," he says. "But often the people who keep asking you to do more don't see it as a conflict. It becomes a vicious circle, and you have to slow it down."

Get your signals straight. Overwork often triggers stress. But instead of finding a way to reduce their anxiety, some people respond inappropriately, often seeking solace--or maybe just distraction--by eating.

"People who are stressed may get their signals confused," says Dr. Greer. "Because food is a source of comfort, they might interpret stress as a signal to eat rather than as a signal to reduce the stress."

You may have friends who react in just the opposite way: When they're stressed out they're either too busy or too worried to eat. If you're wondering why that's not your problem--and you wish it were!--it's because studies suggest that overweight people tend to overeat in response to stress. Another study done at Cornell University reveals that if you're overweight to begin with, you may use food as a mood elevator, even when you're not under stress. (So-called normal-weight people, in contrast, generally eat less when under stress and more when they've had a good day.)

If you tend to eat when you're overwhelmed and overworked, you need to pay more attention to what you're feeling. The next time you feel the urge to eat when it isn't mealtime, ask yourself if you're really hungry. If you aren't, Dr. Lerner recommends a nonedible alternative. One of the women she counseled in a weight-and-stress-reduction program at the University of Pennsylvania would, during her work break, buy herself a single red rose instead of a snack. "There are other ways to fill yourself up," says Dr. Lerner.

Sex, Stress and Pigging Out Time: the day before final exams. Place: a college library. The room is filled with eager-beaver students of both sexes, intently studying their textbooks and taking notes. But something else is going on: While the female students are reading and writing, they're also busily devouring Kit Kat bars, containers of chocolate milk and bags of popcorn, while the guys are . . . just studying. What's this all about? Something that psychologist Richard Straub, M.D., of the University of Michigan, Dearborn, has long suspected, namely, that women under stress tend to overeat, whereas men don't. A study conducted at the University of Michigan, Dearborn, involved men and women ages 17 to 41, who were shown an anxiety-producing movie and a pleasant one. Snack foods were available while they watched. The men tended to consume 140 fewer calories during the stressful flick compared with the calmer one, while the women ate more during the high-anxiety movie. It isn't simply that women eat more than men when they're stressed out, says Dr. Straub. He believes that women are usually so much more controlled in their eating habits than men that when given the chance to finally let loose, they do. And what they choose to eat also has a lot to do with stress, researchers say. When your nerves are fried, do you long for some french fries? When your boss has just bitten your head off, do you feel like biting into a Butterfinger? There's a definite connection between the stress you're feeling and the food you crave. "Some people who are stressed out go for soft, creamy, comfort foods, such as mashed potatoes with plenty of butter," explains Maria Simonson, Ph.D., Sc.D., professor emeritus and director of the health, weight and stress clinic at Johns Hopkins Medical Institutions. "Or they want baked foods, like a milk and cookies snack. It's the nothing-says-loving-like-something-from-the-oven syndrome." If you're turning to food in response to stress or bad feelings like depression, loneliness or sadness, it's important to develop a brand-new strategy, urges Dr. Simonson. "Before you eat, ask yourself, 'How am I feeling about myself right now? What happened this week to upset me? Am I eating this because I'm hungry or because I'm upset?'" Antistress measures, from counseling to yoga, can help you feel better . . . and eat less.

In one national study called the "Mitchum Report on Stress in the '90s," 75 percent of those polled said they listened to music to help alleviate stress. When stress hits, it's not signaling the need for Raisinets. It is telling you that you need rest or relaxation.

Still other people use food not as a way to cope with stress per se but as a way to avoid dealing with the very thing that's driving them crazy in the first place. "Food is kind of a diversion," explains Dori Winchell, Ph.D., a psychologist in Encinitas, California, who specializes in eating disorders. "It's a way for you to not fix what needs to be fixed," she explains. "You hate your job and you hate your boss, so you are miserable and say, 'I might as well be nice to myself and eat some ice cream.'"

The more appropriate response to those signals of distress: Confront what's making you fed up. Easier said than done, Dr. Winchell acknowledges. But, she adds, "If you are living the life you want to be living, I guarantee that stress is not going to make you overeat."

Another option, from Paul J. Rosch, M.D., president of the American Institute of Stress, is progressive muscular relaxation. Alternately tense and relax the muscles of your body, going from one group to the next, shoulders to arms to hands, and so on. "Some people," he adds, "use visual imagery or meditate."

And if you must eat, try something that's low-fat--say, some air-popped popcorn or nonfat frozen yogurt.

Put time on your side. Stressed-out people often seem overwhelmed because they're simply disorganized. They're the ones who don't start making the kids' Halloween costumes until the night before. They also tend to apply equal vigor to every task, even though some tasks are more important than others, and so they feel out of control--a leading cause of workplace anxiety, according to Douglass.

If you recognize the symptoms of disorganization in your at-home and on-the-job habits, Douglass recommends coming up with a system to keep track of your tasks. You might use a notebook, for example. Make a list of everything you need to do, and check off each item as you go along. Most pressing tasks go at the top, and the least time-sensitive go toward the bottom.

You might also write daily chores on Post-it Notes, and throw each one away as you finish the task written on it. In this way, you can see progress and what remains to be done.

Whatever system you use, Douglass notes, it ought to be compatible with your work style. "If it adds too much structure to your life, you're unlikely to use it," he says. "Time-management techniques have to be compatible with who you are and how you're going to use them."

It also helps to establish goals and set deadlines for yourself, he says. Without self-imposed deadlines, your work may expand to fit your time and probably tempt you to put everything off.

"And most people don't have any goals," says Douglass. "But those who do, and are actively pursuing them, probably feel in control of most things and also feel less stressed. They may be working just as hard, but they feel that they're getting somewhere. The feeling of stress has less to do with your workload than with whether you're in control of your workload."

Best Stress Busters When you're feeling beat, And you wanna eat, Who you gonna call? Stress Busters! It may not have quite the same zing as the Ghostbusters song, but you get the idea. Next time you feel stress getting the best of you, don't reach for that container of leftover Chinese food in the fridge--reach for this list of great ideas on how to take the edge off your negative emotions. Try a different one each time, and see which gives you the best results. * Call a friend. * Read a book or magazine. * Take a scented bubble bath. * Go to the gym. * Write your feelings in a journal. * Play with your kids or your dog. * Have a massage. * Go to a movie. * Take a 30-minute walk. * Buy (or pick) some flowers. * Listen to music. * Take a catnap. * Work on your hobby. * Rent a video. * Do volunteer work. * Drop in on a neighbor. * Take a yoga class. * Do three total-body stretches. * Meditate or pray for 15 minutes. * Do five 1-minute meditations. * Watch one of your favorite TV shows. * Spend 15 uninterrupted minutes catching up with your spouse. * Sit silently for 10 minutes. * Have a heart-to-heart with a friend. * Walk around the mall and buy yourself a small present.