Burnout

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Burnout

Hope for the Hopelessly Exhausted

High in the mountains surrounding majestic Aspen, Colorado, Jackie Farley runs a sleep-away camp for burned-out women.

Campers who sign up for a stay at her retreat--CenterPoint--are treated to four days of relaxation, hikes, meditation, massages, gourmet meals, camaraderie, quiet solitude and bedtime stories.

A one-time burnout herself, Farley knows the territory. In 1992, fresh from divorcing a successful and very demanding CEO of a well-known company, she was simultaneously relocating, starting a business, doing charitable work for a handful of philanthropies, and (in her words) "exercising compulsively," when she found herself utterly exhausted. "I never called it burnout; I called it compulsive bulldozer mode."

THE TELLTALE SIGNS

Too many responsibilities, too few resources, too little control, too little encouragement and no end in sight all add up to burnout, says Susan Brace, R.N., Ph.D., a psychologist in private practice in Los Angeles. Telltale symptoms include exhaustion, sorrow, discouragement, migraines, anxiety, stomachaches, irritability, insomnia, depression, apathy, social withdrawal and--most of all--hopelessness.

"What distinguishes burnout is the feeling of helplessness or powerlessness--the conviction that nothing is going to get better," says Beverly Potter, Ph.D., a psychologist in Berkeley, California, and author of Beating Job Burnout.

Women appear to be particularly vulnerable to burnout, Dr. Potter says. "Women aren't conditioned to speak up, grab control and be in charge the way men are. We're more likely to think, 'This always happens to me. What can I do? Nothing.'"

A SELF-RESCUE PLAN

Fortunately, there's plenty that you can do to combat burnout. Here's what experts advise.

Give yourself a break. One of the first things that Farley tells women who find their way to CenterPoint is to make a commitment, without judgment, to set aside 15 minutes for themselves every day.

Do whatever you like, says Farley: Go for a short hike, listen to music, take a bath, read, meditate or sit in a quiet place. The idea is to get out from under all the responsibilities that weigh you down, and find perspective. Farley says that you must honor these rituals to help you reduce stress and gain insight.

Recruit a stand-in. If you have kids or care for an elderly parent, ask your partner or a friend to relieve you during your break, says Camille Lloyd, Ph.D., professor in the Department of Psychiatry and Behavioral Sciences at the University of Texas Medical School at Houston.

Diagnose what ails you. If you feel burned out but don't know why, carefully observe what's going on when you feel distressed and take notes, says Dr. Potter. Get specific: Is your boss dumping a weekend's worth of work on your desk every Friday? Does your husband drop the ball every time he's supposed to cook dinner or put the kids to bed? Are you overwhelmed by the demands of caring for a critically ill parent?

Speak up. Once you've identified the problem, it's time to talk.

"But don't just go to the boss and say, 'I'm feeling burned out,'" says Dr. Potter. It's too vague. Instead, be specific and offer suggestions. Say your boss tells you to do one thing and her supervisor tells you differently. Suggest a meeting so that the three of you can get together and work things out.

By the same token, don't tell your spouse, "You're never there for me," says Dr. Lloyd. Instead, explain that you need extra support while the kids are small or while your mother is sick. Say, "It's tough for me right now; it would be nice if you could spend time with me every Saturday night."

Talk to a sympathetic other. Friends, co-workers or members of a support group can also help, says Dr. Brace. In fact, a study conducted at California State University found that college professors were significantly less likely to suffer burnout if they had a social support network to fall back on.

Take periodic vacations. You don't have to go far or spend a lot of money, says Dr. Lloyd. The idea is to get out from under all your responsibilities and get a clearer view of things. Again, if you take care of an elderly parent, enlist the help of a sibling or ask other family members to help pay for a home health-care aide or a respite-care worker who can fill in for you while you're getting R and R. The Visiting Nurse Association in your area may be able to help with arrangements.

When To See A Doctor Sometimes burnout is easily remedied; sometimes it's not. Consult your local mental health agency, employee counseling service or a mental health professional if: * Feelings of depression linger for more than two weeks. * A sense of being burned out interferes with your ability to do your job, interact socially or function in other ways.

Reward yourself for small accomplishments. Don't rely on others to recognize and encourage your efforts, says Dr. Potter. Divide each thing you have to do into manageable parts. Then set a deadline for each part and reward yourself (with, say, a trip to the movies or a cappuccino) as you meet a deadline.