Forgetfulness

WHEN TO SEE YOUR DOCTOR

* You become suddenly confused or are in a familiar place and suddenly don't know where you are.

* You have difficulty remembering what month or year it is.

What Your Symptom Is Telling You

You spent Sunday at your daughter's wedding, meeting a stream of her charming young friends (and maybe a few who reminded you of people you met in a nightmare last winter when you had the electric blanket turned up too high). Okay, so you never expected to remember all of their names. But you did spend a fascinating hour at the reception talking with one young person who made a particular impression on you. She was bright, friendly and personable, and you found her delightful. When you got home, though, you were unsettled by your inability to remember her name.

Is this a serious memory problem? Not at all, says Alfred Kaszniak, Ph.D., a psychologist at the University of Arizona in Tucson. It's normal aging. If you forgot ever having attended the wedding, though, you'd be in more troublesome territory.

Everyone finds increasing difficulty remembering certain kinds of detail as they age, says Dr. Kaszniak. While old friends' names or the ingredients in a favorite recipe may come automatically, the details we tend to lose most are those that relate to time or space—like forgetting to take along your glasses when you'll need them or losing track of your car keys or where you parked the car. No question—it's aggravating.

But the good news about forgetfulness more than offsets the bad, says Tom Crook, Ph.D., a psychologist and director of Advanced Psychometrics Corporation in Scottsdale, Arizona. For one thing, age-related memory loss does not mean your brain is in decline. In fact, many of the most important mental abilities (like decision making and creativity) actually increase with age. Also, memory loss is rarely an ominous signal of impending Alzheimer's disease. If you're 73 and can't remember names, says Dr. Crook, the odds are 99 to 1 that you have a normal memory loss.

Symptom Relief

If memory slips are bothering you, there's a lot you can do about them.

Deal with depression. Your memory may play tricks if you're feeling blue or listless or are under a lot of stress, says David Masur, Ph.D., a neuropsychologist with the Albert Einstein College of Medicine in New York City. Though memory is very vulnerable to emotions, you'll retrieve the lost information once the depression or anxiety are treated, he says. (See Depression on page 119 and Anxiety on page 21.)

Assert your right to a slower pace. There's no need to be apologetic or secretive about the fact that your memory isn't what it used to be, says Glenn Smith, Ph.D., a psychologist at the Mayo Clinic in Rochester, Minnesota. One strategy he suggests for meeting a group of people and learning their names is to ask for those names more slowly. How? Try, "Hang on there, let's see, your name is Bob, yours is Mary and this is Charles, right?" Dr. Smith says, "People who are advancing in age have a right to have information presented at a pace at which they can learn it."

Leave yourself visual reminders. Rain in the forecast for tonight? As soon as you hear about it, go put your umbrella with your briefcase.

"When a thought occurs to you, go as far as you can toward accomplishing that act right away," says Dr. Crook. "If you think, 'I have to drop off the dry cleaning on the way to work,' hang it on the front door or take it out to the car right away."

Choose your cues. Plant cues all around you of things you don't want to forget, says neurologist Louis Kirby, M.D., chief of staff at Thunderbird Samaritan Hospital in Glendale, Arizona. Choose places for your notes that you'll be sure to spot—the bathroom mirror, the refrigerator door, the inside of the front door, the car dashboard.

The index card is one of Dr. Kirby's favorite memory tools. "I keep them in my pocket, with a task on each one, and when I'm done with the task, I throw the card away. I like them better than a list I'm scratching on all day."

Make the essentials easier. Plan careful ploys for recalling the things you really need to remember, suggests Joan Minninger, Ph.D., San Francisco memory therapist and author of Total Recall: How to Boost Your Memory Power.

Have one regular place inside the house where you keep your keys, for example. And back yourself up with an outside stash. "I have a friend in New York who keeps an extra set on top of an air conditioner in another apartment building," she says. If you can't find your wallet because you transfer it from one pocket or bag to another, create a wallet terminal—an attractive basket where you empty your pockets or purse as you come in and gather up essential items on the way out.

Get the picture. Image association is a powerful tool for memory enhancement, says Danielle Lapp, memory researcher at Stanford University in California, and author of (Nearly) Total Recall: A Guide to a Better Memory at Any Age. If you're worried about forgetting or getting lost, use your senses to become aware of your environment. Parked your car in a busy spot? As you leave, pause, turn around and look at your car's location from the direction from which you will return. Are there memorable smells? Gas fumes from an intersection? The aroma of food from a nearby restaurant? Is there music anywhere? Use these sensory cues to deliberately orient yourself.

Talk to yourself. Dr. Lapp suggests an inner monologue to help increase your awareness, for example: "I am entering the department store through the men's clothing section" or "I am locking the door now. I am writing the check and putting it in an envelope." Foolish? Not at all. You are doing something consciously to record what you want to remember. You are paying attention, concentrating and getting organized—the basic tools of memory training, says Dr. Lapp.

Bolster your brain food. If you're low on certain nutrients, your memory may lose its edge. Studies suggest that a daily diet rich in the B vitamin riboflavin, iron and zinc may be helpful. Ready your plate with riboflavin from low-fat dairy products, such as skim milk and low-fat yogurt. To beef up your iron levels, cook potatoes, legumes and acidic foods (like tomato sauce) in an iron skillet. And for memory zest from zinc, enjoy more seafood and meat.

Program your memory with an exercise program. A study conducted at Utah State University suggests that aerobic exercise may sharpen your short-term recall. That daily walk or swim heightens your brain's oxygen efficiency and increases glucose metabolism, which may play a role in improving memory, says Richard Gor-din, Ph.D., professor of health, physical education and recrea-tion at Utah State in Logan. So enjoy regular exercise for healthy memories.